Rant #2: Second verse same as the first!

Weight Watchers Stats
Starting Weight: 303.2 lbs
Weigh in Weight: 192.8 lbs
Weight Variance: +1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 110.4 lbs

Kind of funny to be posting a rant after a entry about inspirational quotes, but C'est La Vie.

So there is this phrase we often use at Weight Watchers when we greet someone. "How are you doing today?" I might ask as a friend comes into the meeting and they will say "Give me a couple minutes and I will let you know." Meaning that their weight loss/gain will determine their mood. Normally I have a pretty good prediction of how my weigh in will go depending on how much I weighed on the scale that week/morning of, so the weigh in doesn't effect my mood too greatly. I days where I think I might gain the added time helps me to prepare.

This week I am staying at a place where there is no scale so I couldn't monitor my progress. So today I stepped on and was surprised to see that I was back in the high 92's and my heart dropped. I tracked very diligently this week! I made my own meals and everything. I knew I had gone over my weekly allotment (68 as opposed to 49) thanks to some beer however I had earned 94 activity points this week. Every night I walked around the downtown core making sure that I got over 15,000 steps a day. That gave me 75 points of cushion, and even without the given 49 that would have been 26 extra points. So where did this 1.8 lbs gain come from? Did I not track correctly? Did the two week rule come into effect? Did the food that I had last week kick in this week? Will my activity go towards next week? Who fucking knows..... *sigh*

Anyways, so I'm pissed.....stewing and quiet before meeting, and SOOOooo not wanting to be there. But, I refuse to leave, I am committed so I keep my cute butt in that chair.

When the meeting starts I don't participate in the achievement section of the meeting. I always contribute so it shouldn't always fall on me to fill time. However when the meeting is quiet Lindsey my leader always likes to engage me because I have advice and stuff to share. So when I don't talk she asks me how my week went. I really didn't feel like talking because all I wanted to do was rant about how I'm frustrated I was. I really try to not be negative because it is a real downer when someone bitches during a Weight Watchers meetings. Lindsey does such a great job at keeping people motivated and it is hard to get the energy up afterwards. I mention that I gained, that it has made me a bit grumpy tonight (hoping she would get the hint) but I am thinking that perhaps I am must be missing some of the little things. Perhaps I am not counting the cream in my coffee correctly. Maybe I underestimated a few items this week. etc etc etc. I mention that I know I wasn't awesome, but that I did a lot of activity blah blah blah, (deep down I'm frustrated because the weight isn't moving and the more I talk the frustration begins to mount to the point where you are trying not to cry, especially since attention is on me). Then she brings up my total loss. I have found that it is starting to tick me off when she mentions it. I know she thinks that it helps me to gain perspective (and usually it does), but sometimes it feels like she is using it just to promote Weight Watchers. (Oh Michelle has had a bad week this week, but she's lost over 100 pounds and you can too!). I haven't lost anything since February so in my mind I haven't lost anything in months. The 100 pounds happened so long ago. I used to be this weight loss guru and now I can't loose 15 fricking pounds. WTF.

*deep breath*

So what am I going to do? Lets try to make this a learning experience because I hate people who always focus on the negative. I will cut out liquids that have points this week. No more coffee, no more beer. Lets see if I can go a week without a soft serve ice cream cone. Lets keep the fitness level at the same range as this week and I will get more veggies in. So mote it be. LOL