I'm a Loser again!

Weight Watchers Stats
Starting Weight: 303.2 lbs
Weigh in Weight: 186.8 lbs
Weight Variance: -1.6 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 116.4 lbs

Yay!!! Look at that! I reached another goal and saw some real movement this week. This really motivates me. That is the lowest that I have ever been. It feels great. That is 11.6 lbs to my goal of 175.2 lbs and I have to loose 3.6 lbs to get to my next goal. Alright, I think it could be reasonable to achieve a loss of three and a half pounds in 7-8 weeks.... Hmmmm So I might be able to do that by the end of January if I loose 0.5 a week, maybe a little longer since that would be during the holiday season.

MY SIX GOALS
1. Get back into the 80’s
2. 186
3. 183.2
4. Get into the 70’s
5. 178.2
6. 175.2

Heroine of the Week: River Tam

Girl genius, deadly assassin and psychic to boot; River Tam is a character from the short lived television series Firefly. I’ve always loved this goram heroine because she was a great sense of comic relief on the show, her fighting was graceful like a dancer and she was a person you under estimated. This young girl is really smart and if it wasn’t for all those crazy vision I think that she would be an unstoppable force. I think everybody would have loved to see her character progress past someone who is hindered by her visions. We got hints of that in the last episode of the series and in the movie Serenity…. Oh well, that is what fan fiction is for I guess. Like The Bride and Buffy she has unparalleled fighting skills which I envy. I really want to take up some sort of combat training once I do not have to pay for Weight Watchers anymore.

Busy Bee

Sorry for the late reply. Work has been nuts these past few days.

I went to body combat class on Friday and it felt really good to be active again. On Saturday I knew I was going out to Rancho Relaxo, so I checked the menu for the least pointable item (2 soft tacos) and asked for more salad and no rice. I also restricted myself to 1 beer instead of partaking in the pitcher of sangria #FTW. I uploaded a whole bunch of new MP3’s onto my iPod so I have new things to listen to while walking. I weighed in on the scale again this morning and both readings that the stupid thing was showing me are pretty good (186.8 & 187.1) Both of those are less then what last weeks weigh in (188.4) was so I am hoping that it stays that way. It means that sending my daily tracker to my leader is working.It is keeping me more vigilant.

*sigh* Back to work.

I've always been..... SHY!!!!!

Yesterday I exercised some serious will power and self-control. They rolled that baked good cart around and they were giving a deal of for $2-$4 you could fill a Tupperware container filled with tasty treats. I remember someone saying to me that no one will yell at your for not buying anything or refusing food. It’s true. I ate an apple and did my best to ignore everyone talking about how delicious everything was. I felt really good afterwards and proud of myself.

So, a friend of mine at Weight Watchers got engaged. She showed off her ring and looked really happy. Seem like a lot of people are getting engaged lately and the older I am getting the more social pressure it seems to find a partner. It made me think about my non-existent love life. Funny I remember thinking that “IF ONLY” I was skinny I would have a boyfriend. “IF ONLY” I was thin that I would have men knocking down my door. All my problems would be solved. Apparently it doesn’t work like that. No magic boyfriend is going to be given to me when i reach goal. Being thinner doesn’t mean I haven’t stopped being shy and awkward around guys (that I am attracted too). I am not the type to go to clubs and the guys I am meeting on the dating websites are…. alright I guess. Not sure what the solution is, just lamenting that one can change buy still stay the same as well.

Bake Sale Day

Weight Watchers Stats
Starting Weight: 303.2 lbs
Weigh in Weight: 188.4 lbs
Weight Variance: +0.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 114.8 lbs

Gained a bit this week, but considering that because I have been sick I haven’t been as active as I normally have, I am not surprised. I also believe that it is going to be that time of the month soon.

Today I am going to try and mentally rehearse for success. Today is the United Way bake sale. Last night I baked cookies for the event and I made just the right amount so that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to “test” any. I am also planning in my head that when they come buy trying to see the cookies around the department I am going to refuse. I am imagining that they do not taste very good, are not worth the calories. Do you guys have any sayings or quotes that I can put up at my desk to dissuade me from eating baked goods?I would love to hear them.

Something along the lines of “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.”

I am the body beautiful

Alright it is list making time I think. The amount crap I can say about myself is a never ending list ("I'm fat", "I hate my ass" yadda yadda). Why do we say negative things to ourselves? We are beautiful! So I think today I am going to make a list of things (aesthetically) that I like about myself. Let’s try for five things….

#1 My Eyes

They change color depending on what I am wearing and kind of always reminded me of being shaped like a cat.

#2 My Height

I’m tall like an amazon which is handy for reaching stuff on the top shelf, not so much for slow dancing with my grade 6 boyfriend Alecos.

#3 My lips

Plump, always moisturized (thanks to my Chapstick obsession) and great for kissing.

#4 My skin… most of it

I am fortunate to have always had (for the most part) blemish free skin. It is soft and white like alabaster.

#5 My newly emerged Décolletage

I have collar bones now!

Tenacity

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

Today I want to speak about Tenacity. I have been thinking a lot about this over the weekend. It means to hold fast, unwilling to yield, not easily pulled asunder or tough. When it comes to weight loss I think this is one of the biggest qualities for people who are successful. The individuals who keep trying even the face of adversity. It takes courage to decide to want to start the weight loss process, to think about changing your life. It takes even more courage to start the process and make those changes. It takes true courage to hold on to that lifestyle and not waiver.

I have been attending my Weight Watcher meetings for two years now and you know that the only people who continue to attend are lifetime members and myself. They still attend because they learn the important lesson of tenacity. They realize that weight loss is a steady process that takes patience. I realized that at Weight Watchers I can only have short term friends there, they join up, stay in the program for a few weeks and then give up and stop attending. They make excuses so that they do not have to attend anymore. It got too hard, it’s not fun or it is inconvenient. I have been wavering at approximately 190 pounds for months now and I keep going, keep trying, I will keep attending no matter what. Eventually that weight will come off, I just need to “keep on truckin'”.

Scales

I am not too happy with my scale at the moment (seen above). It isn’t giving me very accurate readings. When I try to use the more advanced settings, two out of the three times it will give me an error message. This morning I got three different weights readouts (187.1, 187.9 and 188.7). Why is the sensors not getting my reading? For a second there I thought I was finally making some progress, but now I am not sure if it is correct. Maybe I need to change the batteries. Now that I am getting closer to my goal weight I need something that is going to chart my fat loss as well as my weight. Fat 2 fit Radio has been talking about a scale which has a hand grip which reads body fat percentage. I wonder if this is the thing they are talking about. However this is just a hand held device, they lead me to believe that it is a scale and handgrip combination. I sent them off an email so hopefully they will reply back soon.I am going to the gym tonight, I am just doing a basic workout and not Body Combat.