I have noticed that over my transformation process that I have reacted differently to the way I was being treated and I have noticed being treated differently by others.First I noticed that it took a while for people to notice my weight loss. It was true, people didn't really notice until I had dropped 65 lbs. LOL. Then I started getting a lot of attention, at first I liked it because I had worked hard to accomplish the loss.
Then I noticed that I started getting embarrassed by what people would say. They would be so amazed and talk it up like I had cured cancer or something. To me I was just the same person I've always been. However they are just seeing my inner beauty as my aesthetic now.
Then.... I started getting miffed sometimes by what people would say. It was like "Oh you must feel so great now", "What a wonderful change for you" or "You look so beautiful". The fat girl in me was questioning what they must of thought of me before. I noticed that this pressure began to develop about what would happen if I were to ever gain any of the weight back. Will I not be as valued?
Then I realized also that aside from the comments I would get, that people treat fat people differently. It is an unfair but true reality. I had gotten so used to how fat Michelle was treated by co-workers, friends and people in general, that now that I am getting a different type of attention I am not used to it.
Then there are the people who are like... "What?!?!?! you want to loose more?" "You are looking too thin, you should stop". Technically I am still considered overweight. I haven't reached a BMI of under 25 yet. It is not like I want to become Kate Moss or anything, I just want to get into the upper range of what is an acceptable range for my body type.
Those are just a few instances I have noticed. I am sure that you have experiences a least some of them. Anyways I need to get back to work. Wish me luck for my weigh in tomorrow.
I curious as to how people are treating you differenly now (is it things they do as well as say?). Also I'm curious if you notice a difference between people who you've just met recently versus people who've known you throughout the process?
ReplyDeleteThen.... I started getting miffed sometimes by what people would say. It was like "Oh you must feel so great now", "What a wonderful change for you"
ReplyDeleteThe breast reduction was kind of like that for me. Hell my cousin walked up to me, put her hands on my boobs and said "I approve." Seriously, like my body was up for her approval ever? Backhanded compliments, retroactively insulting to how I looked before.
I think it's important to keep sight of why you do what you do, and what you get out of it, remembering that most of what other people say has nothing to do with you, but their own ways of interacting with the world. Keep on keeping on.
I have the same experience, in reverse. I've gained work due to medications and disability. I am treated with less respect than before. It is assumed that I am just "fat and lazy".
ReplyDeleteFor the most part I noticed it with the male gender. They flirt more or are more friendly. I noticed this the most at FSG. People who I always had been around were flirting more and hitting on me. It is harder to see the change with family & friends as it is like that proverb you cannot see the forest for the trees. And it is tricky with co-workers as that has changed in the last year. It is easier with strangers. They make snap judgements and it is more a general attitude.
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ReplyDeleteI can't say that women are flirting with me more - generally I'm too daft to notice. But I do know that with weight loss, the more gregarious I have become. I am less self-conscious, and more willing to enter social situations where I was previously content (or just plain preferred) to sit on the sidelines.
ReplyDeleteSelf-confidence is attractive. We are brighter, more interactive, and more willing to respond to people who show an interest in us. And I know I am attracted to stronger, self-confident women.
It would be nice to say that was the entire reason you're getting more attention. But the simple fact that you are skinnier does get its own attention. For me, at least, your personality and the changes to it are the bigger attractor.